Oh, the Funny Things People Do for Their Pets!

By Julia Williams

Much has been written, here and elsewhere, about the funny things pets do. It stands to reason, since they always seem to be doing things that make us laugh. However, I haven’t seen much about the funny things people do for their pets. I have thought about it though, mostly because I wondered if I was alone in my quirkiness. As it turns out, I’m not the only one who does things for their pet that others – particularly the non-pet crowd – would find funny, odd, silly and/or kooky. How do I know this? I queried a group of my pet loving friends, and a few were even brave enough to tell me about some of the funny things they do for their pets! I’ll share their confessions with you, but first, some of mine:

When Annabelle is asleep on my computer chair, rather than move her I will sit on the very edge. No, it’s not the least bit comfortable sitting on an inch of chair, but Princess Annabelle doesn’t seem to notice my discomfort as she snoozes away. And if there’s a sleeping cat on my lap, I won’t move them for anything. If I should happen to become ravenously hungry or need to use the bathroom, woe is me…but the sleeping cat remains undisturbed until they decide to wake up.

Speaking of sleeping, with three cats occupying their favorite spots on my bed at night, I often find myself in Cirque Du Soleil-worthy contortionist positions because, well, they sleep where they want to sleep even if that leaves little room for me! If I need to get up in the night, I slide up slowly, inching my way toward the headboard until I can get up without disturbing the cat. That’s normal, right?

I forego vacuuming not because the carpet doesn’t need it, but because the loud noise of the “suck monster” scares the bejeebies out of my cats. I open cans of soup outside on the porch, but this is mostly for my benefit. I feel guilty when my cats come running at the sound of the can opener, because I know it’s not their FELIDAE and – persistent meowing notwithstanding – I have absolutely nothing for them. Of course, cats have supersonic hearing, so when I come inside with soup in hand I usually discover them waiting in the kitchen.

Here’s what others had to say:

Langley Cornwell: Our neighbor puts rain booties on her schnauzer during even the lightest drizzle. We always get a chuckle out of it.

Caren (Cat Chat): I have gotten on the floor on “all fours” in an attempt to teach Dakota the word “down”....I was the one performing the action while he stood there watching me like I was insane. I am. He still doesn't know the word “down.” I have lain in a ridiculously uncomfortable position for HOURS, not daring to move, lest I disturb my blissfully sleeping cat!

Sue Woltze: My husband Paul has great ceremonies every single day; we get the “welcome home Daddy biscuit,” the “after-dinner biscuit,” the “good morning biscuit,” the “time to go out biscuit,” the list goes on. Fortunately it's a small piece of chicken jerky, otherwise we'd have hugely fat dogs. Every night our cat Balloo gets on the bathroom sink, Paul turns on the water and says “I now baptize you in the name of the Cat-father, the Cat-son and the Cat-holy spirit, the Cat-stanipole, the Cat-nip, the Cat-saskatchewan, the Cat-acombs, on and on, while dumping water on Balloo's head. They are both insane.

Jenn Martin-Ilo: I've foregone sitting in my own computer chair so my cats could remain there comfortably. Instead I kneeled on the floor and did my work on the computer. Once, when I was on the phone with my Gramma, Squeaky started hacking. I freaked out because he'd never done it before. I made my Gramma wait on the phone while I patted Squeaky's back and tried to comfort him until he got that furball out.

Beaded Tail: Everything stops if my cat Angel wants to be held! She likes to be picked up like a child and then lays over my shoulder so I can scratch her back. She'd stay there all day if she could! The only way to get her down is to go to her treat drawer.  I'll get up in the middle of the night if my cat cries in the bathroom for the faucet to be turned on so she can drink. When a cat is under the covers with me, I will not move no matter what body part is going numb until the cat decides on her own to move!

Karen Nichols: We have movie night every night.... Mr. Tasty Face sets up squirrel and bird movies for Skeezix to watch on the iPad. I take Skeezix to the Hardware store and Rite Aide just so he can ride in the shopping carts, which he LOVES.

Mr. Puddy: Mom always laughs when Daddy uses his face to rub my head like he is a cat. With Mommy, every time I eat I need her to be there. If she leaves me alone with my bowl, I go get her and she will come to pet me and sing while I'm eating. This is her song.... “Bimbee Puddy...Mommy love you...Piggy Puddy...Love you kiddo.” Repeat till I'm done.

Jamie Richardson: My Mom's cat, Oscar, has to be petted before he'll eat his crunchies! He will scratch the back of your leg if you don't pay attention to him!

Christine MacGregor: My mother custom designed the windows in our last house so our two dogs would have a fantastic view outside and a ledge for them to jump on that was at a perfect height for a westie. When we sold the house we got asked a lot if there was a reason our windows were so enormous and so low to the ground.

Trish (Katnip Lounge): For years we acquired a cat per year as they would show up and stare with sad faces in through the back patio door, hungry and homeless. We'd put food out, and eventually Scott wouldn't be able to stand it and they would come in. He built the Catio so the strays couldn't stare in the back window. They started staring in the FRONT window instead!

Sue (Island Cats): Sometimes I'll wake up in the morning and my cat Ernie will be snuggled up next to me, sound asleep. You should see me trying to get out of bed without disturbing him! I have to be a contortionist!

Kevin (Animal Shelter Volunteer): Our sofa is a “first come, first served / you snooze, you lose” zone. If the cats are sprawled out on it, we'll often try to squeeze in without disturbing them OR find somewhere else to sit.

Photo by Dave Dugdale

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