Monday, April 29, 2013

How to Tell if You're a Hopeless Pet Lover

By Linda Cole

I don't remember a time when I didn't have a pet around. Not even when I went to college. Yep, I snuck my kitten in to be my dorm roommate. I admit to being a hopeless pet lover; it’s a label I'm happy to wear since I can’t seem to get all of the dog and cat hair brushed off my clothes. When a pet has captured our heart, the only thing we can do is look for those telltale signs that show how hopeless of a pet lover we've become. Take this fun quiz to see just how hopeless!

1. The color coded pie chart you made for household expenses (red), entertainment (blue), food (yellow) and pet expenses (green)...
A. Has way more green on it than any other color.
B. Was eaten by the dog, who mistook it for homework.
C. Has become the cat's favorite place to sit since you canceled the newspaper to cut back on household expenses.

2. After you've met the new neighbors, you...
A. Can remember the names of their pets, but not the names of their kids.
B. Joke after they leave about their dog's fancy collar and coat while adjusting your dog's biker vest and Doggles.
C. Wonder if their pie chart looks like yours.

3. People know you have a dog just by looking inside your vehicle because...
A. All of the windows are “decorated” with nose prints and paw prints.
B. Chew toys, tennis balls, dog treats, leashes, water bowls and “dog doody pick up bags” litter the backseat.
C. You have to remove the blanket covering the passenger seat before allowing someone to sit there.

4. In the morning when you wake up, you don't mind that your pet is...
A. Draped over your head with their tail tickling your nose.
B. Sleeping where you started out the night before and you're now clinging to the side of the mattress.
C. Sitting on top of you staring (and you know she wants fed, even if it is just half past dawn).

5. You've learned to think outside the box to...
A. Position the garbage can so your pet hopefully can't get into it while you're at work.
B. Find decorative ways to cover up stains on the carpet or furniture.
C. Remove pet hair quickly from furniture when unexpected company shows up at your door.

6. You don't have any small children at home, but you still have...
A. A kiddie pool in your backyard for the dog to play in.
B. Baby gates attached to doors.
C. Childproof locks on your kitchen cabinets.

7. When you put your hand in your pocket, you find...
A. Your pet's favorite CANIDAE or FELIDAE treat.
B. A squeaky toy that's seen better days.
C. A cheap lint roller with pet hair, loose change or other items stuck on it.

8. After a fresh snow has fallen, you...
A. Shovel an area in the yard so your dog has a snow-free patch to stand where his feet won't get so cold.
B. Wrap your winter coat tighter around you and hop from foot to foot to keep your feet warm while your dog takes his sweet time finding the perfect spot to do his business.
C. Spend your time between watching a movie and mopping up paw prints on the kitchen floor.

9. You are entertaining dinner guests, and before serving you...
A. Check the ice cubes to make sure there’s no pet hair frozen in them.
B. Check to make sure the cat isn't lying in the middle of the table.
C. Stuff cloves in the pot roast to hide suspicious bite marks.

10. You write up a shopping list and...
A. Suddenly realize that your pet eats better than you do.
B. Decide that making a pie chart for expenses is way too complicated.
C. Know exactly where to find pet related stuff at the store, but have to search for yogurt.

11. Every year at Christmas time, you...
A. Accept the challenge of wrapping gifts without getting pet hair stuck to the tape.
B. Search the pet stores for the newest toys and clothes.
C. Dress your pet up for the family photo that goes with each Christmas card.

If you answered yes, been there done that, or gave any kind of an affirmative answer to all or most of the questions, then you are a hopeless pet owner. But not to worry – you have a lot of company! We don't need to take a quiz to know how important our pets are to us, and I have a feeling we wouldn't change a thing.

Top photo by Josh Henderson
Bottom photo by Jeffrey Beall

Read more articles by Linda Cole


  1. So Funny - I hate to admit it but I think I could check the boxes on almost all of those points, but the funniest is pet hair in the tape on the presents - so been there.

  2. Ha that's good stuff and the kids can vouch for the pet hair on the tape...always!

  3. Guilty as charged!! We are certified dog, cat and duck crazy!!


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