Friday, February 1, 2013

The Burning Questions All Cats Have

Human, I am NOT amused!
By Rocky Williams, Feline Guest Blogger

Someone declared that one day in January would be National Answer your Cat’s Questions Day. Who? I don’t know, and because I’m a lazy cat, I won’t look it up on that weird thing you humans call the Web. The only web I care about has juicy spiders dangling from it…but I digress.

Now, we all know it’s every human’s job to try to figure out exactly what your cat wants so you can go about meeting his demands post haste. Hence, I think dedicating a day to answering your cat’s questions is a great idea. I tip my furry paw to the person who came up with that one! It just might help you in your never-ending quest to make your cat happy. Which is your number one job, am I right?

Ok. Never mind that National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day was in January, and today is the first of February. I couldn’t let that hinder getting some answers to the burning questions I’m sure all cats have. I asked the Warden for a little Q & A time, and ever the dutiful cat lady, she complied.

Rocky: Why do you put my bag of FELIDAE kibble in the cupboard, where I can’t get to it whenever I want a snack?
Warden: That’s precisely the point, Rocky. You’d “snack” 24/7 if I let you, and your handsome man-cat body would turn to flab. Not to mention, this would blow my pet food budget to smithereens.

Rocky: Why do you get so hopping mad when I try to steal a teeny tiny morsel of food off your plate? Haven’t you ever heard of sharing?
Warden: If I shared my food every time you wanted something I was eating, I’d waste away to nothing!

Rocky: Why do you talk to me in that silly high pitched voice? I’m a cat, not a baby!
Warden: Because you’re adorable, and I can’t help myself. Every human who spends time with a cute cat will eventually succumb to “baby” talk.

Rocky: Why do you wave that Da Bird feather thing around all the time? You know we know it’s not real, right?
Warden: You do? You sure don’t act like you know it’s fake. Anyway, you need exercise, and it’s not like I can take you for a walk around the block on a leash.

Rocky: Why must you always interrupt my naptime by demanding petting?
Warden: Oh come on. You know you like that. I even heard you purr once. Besides, your naptime lasts all day long. Surely you can spare five minutes of your precious time?

Rocky: Why do you chastise me when I lay on your chest in bed?
Warden: Well, first of all, no one likes a furry butt in their face! Secondly, even when you’re facing the right way, you’re so heavy you nearly knock the wind out of me!

Rocky: Why do you blow that whistle in my face when I snoopervise from the kitchen counter?
Warden: I don’t need your help preparing food, thank you very much. And kitty litter feet do not belong on the counter!

Rocky: Why do you always laugh when I make biscuits on your pillow?
Warden: Because you look hilarious when you do that!  I told everyone that you had to marry that pillow because you were getting so fresh with it. :-)

Rocky: Hey, that’s not funny!
Warden: Oh yes it is.

Kitties, do you have any burning questions you’d like answered?

Read more articles by Rocky Williams


  1. Tose were good questions! I never have any trouble getting my questions answered, I just never like the answers!

  2. Those were some good questions. We think you pretty much covered everything. Take care and have a great week end.

  3. What a spirited and informative question and answer session! Rocky, we love how you think, buddy! :)

  4. Rocky, it just goes to show that humans require more training every day. You'll get her thinking the right way eventually so don't give up!

  5. Those were great questions, Rocky. You know, regarding your biscuit making on the pillow, that's what the mom says I'm like on my Zoey blanket. Hey, I can't help it if I love it!!


  6. Oh dear me! We is so sorries we forgotted where we read about the Cat Texting! We will FOR SURE be giving you credit in our post about the WINNER! You have to forgive my Human--she is getting older than a sack of dirt and losing brain cells by the MILLIONS every day, maybe BILLIONS!

    We copied some because we wanted to do a future post, and then by the time we got around to it, we totally drew a blank on their origins. :-(

  7. Great Q & A, Rocky!! You really highlighted just how exhausting and frustrating humans can make our lives... Purrs from Zee and Zoey

  8. We think that the Warden tackled those questions with some vigour, but without a doubt you out foxed her, Rocky ;) Good answers :)

    WE absolutely loved this.
    Rocky is my hero.
    : ) Katie

  10. Rocky Williams, theese was one rockin' interview, we likes your style!


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